Title: Secrets Author: Stephanie E-mail: paradigmamnesia@h... Rating: PG Feedback: Please! This is my first fic ever! Disclaimer: John Doggett and Dana Scully and other characters mentioned here-in are the property of 1013 Productions. Timeline- This takes place in the middle of season 9, Mulder is still gone, and Scully still has William. The Chronology of this story jumps around a bit. Chapter 1 takes place in the middle of the actual timeline of events, I think you will catch on. Dedicated to Tony, who convinced me to finally write this! Thanks! * * * Chapter 1 Wednesday, 10:25pm It was a frantic scene as Dana Scully arrived at the hospital. “Where is he?” she asked the doctor with the clipboard, impatiently. “I’m sorry, who are. . .” said the doctor. “Dana Scully, FBI,” She said, whipping out her badge. “We work together.” The doctor, who was staring at the clipboard, suddenly looked grim. “What is it?” She cried, snatching the clipboard. “As you can see, we’ve done everything we can for him,” he pointed to a door,”He’s in there if you’d like to see him.” Without a word, Scully handed the clipboard back to the doctor and slowly entered the room. A single nurse was at agent Doggett’s side. She took readings from several beeping machines, and then turned to Scully. “I’m very sorry,” she said. ”I’ll leave you two alone for a moment.” She placed a hand on Scully’s shoulder as she made her exit. Scully moved closer to the bed. Suddenly Doggett opened his eyes. “Oh my God,” Scully said under her breath. “Dana?” Doggett said, his powerful voice nothing but a gravely whisper. “Please, John, try not to talk.” She said. “But, are you okay? and. . .William?” his breathing was labored. “We’re fine,” she said, “it’s you we’re worried about.” “That bad, eh?” he said, trying to keep the mood light, though from his voice, she could tell he understood his condition. Scully gazed kindly at her friend. “They all say you’re dying.” She said. “Ta hell with what they think,” Doggett locked his eyes with hers. ”I trust you. What do you think, Dr. Scully?” Her eyes broke away from his stare. The silence was deafening. John Doggett understood. “Well, in that case,” he said, “there’s something I need to tell you.” Scully pulled a chair close to his bed and sat down, her eyes fighting back tears. The sound of his wheezing lungs mixed with the beeping of various machines filled her mind. Sitting so close, she could smell his blood, and the sterile smell of fresh bandages. “Dana,” he said carefully, “I know your heart will always belong to Fox Mulder.” She looked at him, suddenly confused, but interested in what he was saying. ‘But. Dammit Dana, I love you. I’m sorry, I. . . “Agent Doggett gasped. A loud alarm filled the room. One of the machines at his bedside was flashing, and two doctors rushed in to the room. “He’s not breathing.” One doctor said to the other. “Lets get her out of here.” said the second. A very bewildered Agent Scully was ushered out in to the hallway, where the first person she saw was Agent Reyes. “Where is he? Is he going to be alright?” she asked, a little out of breath. Scully pointed towards the room that was filling with doctors. “I need some air.” She said stoically to Reyes, as she left the troubling scene. When she finally reached her car, she couldn’t take it any longer. She sat down in the driver’s seat, her head against the steering wheel. Her red hair fell in her face as the tears came, tears of confusion, frustration, and sorrow. Thoughts raced through her mind. How could she have been so blind to his feelings? Or perhaps she had always known, but had convinced herself otherwise. And then the horrible thought returned. He was dying. He loved her and he was dying. Somewhere, John Doggett was dreaming. He was on the couch in Scully’s apartment, and baby Luke, his son, was crawling on his chest. He was so happy, he wondered if he had died and was in heaven. Then he began to hear faint beeping sounds. The beeping got louder and louder until suddenly he realized he was hearing muffled voices also. He opened his eyes, just for a second. The room was huge and white. “It’s a miracle.” He heard a man say. And then he heard nothing, and saw only darkness once more. To be continued. . . * * * Chapter 2 (the day before chapter 1) Tuesday, 7:25 am The sharp sound of a telephone ring filled the dark room. John Doggett rolled under his sheets and picked up the receiver on his nightstand. “Yeah?” he said . . . dial tone. “Dammit.” The piercing ring still filled his ears. He reached across the nightstand, feeling about for his cell phone. “John Doggett,” he said, finally answering the correct phone. “I’m sorry to wake you up on your day off.” The voice said. ”Dana, oh, don’t worry about it. So what’s goin’ on?” “I hate to do this to you John, but my babysitter just cancelled on me, and my mom’s still out of town. . .” “Don’t worry about it; I’ll be there in a snap.” “I owe you one.” She said, and hung up the phone. Doggett’s hair was still wet when he knocked on her apartment door. She answered it dressed for the academy, a knee length skirt and yellow blouse. She had William in one arm and her toothbrush in her mouth. She handed William to Doggett and rushed back in to the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth. A few seconds later she popped out again, “I don’t know how to thank you,” she said as she bustled about, grabbing her purse and keys. “No problem,” he said, bouncing William in his arms,”We’ll get along great.” “Just make yourself at home alright, I’ll be back at 2:30.” She kissed William’s cheek,” Be good.” She said, and then smiled at Doggett. She locked the door on her way out. A couple of hours later Doggett was watching William rock in his travel seat. Doggett smiled as he put the pacifier in the baby’s mouth. “So what do you folks do for fun around here?” he said, patting the baby’s tummy. “Your mom’s an awful busy lady,” he said to the oblivious baby, “sure would be nice if your dad was around, wouldn’t it?” William burped and then started to whimper. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Doggett said, lifting the baby to his chest and patting him on the back. Doggett could not help but remember his son Luke as a baby. Being alone with William made him remember everything he loved about being a dad, and being in Scully’s apartment for a few hours made him remember how much he longed to be with her. He realized he could smell Scully’s perfume on the couch he and William were sitting on. Doggett laid down on his back and let William crawl on his chest, and for just a moment, imagined that was the way it would always be. But a few bittersweet moments later he remembered on thing, Fox Mulder. The reason he could never admit his feelings to Scully. He looked at William who had fallen fast asleep on his chest. “I’ll be here for ya anyways,” he whispered, “you and your mom. No matter what, “ and in a tortured but comfortable state, John Doggett fell asleep. _________________________________________________ At 2:30 Scully unlocked the door to her apartment and found them there, both still sound asleep. “I guess you two got along alright.” She said, petting her son’s head. Doggett stirred and opened his eyes. “Dana, you back already?” he whispered, trying not to wake the child who had left a sizeable puddle of drool on his shirt. “I almost hate to move him,” she said quietly, ”he looks so sweet there.” “I’m still comfy.” Doggett said, putting his hands behind his neck. Scully smiled at him, and then lifted the baby off his chest. She carried him off to his bedroom, and when she came back, Doggett sat up and was stretching his arms above his head. “He really got you good.” She laughed, as she noticed the drool on his shirt. Doggett gazed into her eyes. It was nice to see he laugh again. But she suddenly seemed uncomfortable. “Well,” she said hesitantly, “I hate to take up any more of your day off. . .” “I’ll be getting along then.” He said, understanding what she meant. “Thank you so much for watching him,” she said. “You don’t have to thank me,” he said. “We had fun.” He straightened up the couch pillows and grabbed his jacket. As he opened the door to leave, he turned to her, glancing into her eyes one last time before leaving, “See you around,” he said, and shut the door behind him. When he got in the car and started the engine, he looked at the clock, and then at the patch of drool on his shirt. He took off down the street, knowing he didn’t want to go home yet. His house would feel too empty, reminding him of all the things he was missing in his life. He drove to the office. ___________________________________________ At 8 pm the phone rang at Scully’s apartment. Scully was grading papers with her glasses on, and William was in his playpen. “Hi Dana, its me,” Doggett said, “You eat yet?” “Me? No, but, I already fed Will.” “Great! You feel like going out for some pizza and a beer. . .?” “I don’t know, John, I, I’ve got lots of papers to grade. . .” “Oh, come on, you probably need a brake.” He said. “Oh, alright.” She said. “Great, I’ll pick you up in about twenty minutes, okay?” “See you then.” She said. Doggett hung up the phone. He had called Scully on a whim, and he was not so sure he had done the right thing. He knew in his heart that she was not ready for a relationship. But he was weary of constantly being pushed away. He hated only seeing her when he and Reyes needed help on an X-file, or when she or William were in peril. Hell, he thought, it had only been a few weeks since she started calling him by his first name. As he pulled down her street, his phone rang. “John, there’s a black sedan parked in front of my building,” she sounded distraught, “I just have a bad feeling about it. . .” “I’m almost there, Dana,” he said, “don’t worry about it, I’ll find out what’s going on.” Doggett could already see the car Scully was talking about. A man got out of the car. Doggett watched him carefully. The man put a pistol in his belt. “Dana, stay where you are, and lock the door.” He said, and hung up. Doggett quickly left his car, and cautiously followed the man. He caught up to him on the stairway, “Freeze, Federal Agent!” he yelled, pointing his gun at the man’s back. Scully paced nervously in her apartment. From the window, she had watched the man enter her building and Doggett follow. William was asleep in his crib. Suddenly she heard gunshots. She left William’s room and shut the door. She ran out into the hallway with her gun. She rushed to the stairs where she saw a man sprawled out there, bleeding. She checked his pulse on the way down, he was dead. But where was Doggett? Then she saw him. “Agent Doggett?!” she cried. He was unconscious and blood was pouring from the gunshot would on his chest. To be continued. . . (The next chapter will happen at the end of Chapter 1.) Title: Secrets Author: Stephanie E-mail: paradigmamnesia@h... Rating: PG Feedback: Please! This is my first fic ever! Disclaimer: John Doggett and Dana Scully and other characters mentioned here-in are the property of 1013 Productions. Timeline- This takes place in the middle of season 9, Mulder is still gone, and Scully still has William. The Chronology of this story jumps around a bit. Chapter 1 takes place in the middle of the actual timeline of events, I think you will catch on. * * * Chapter 3 (Back to the end of Chapter 1) Scully was not sure how long she had been sitting in her car. She was sure it was getting late, though, and the skin on her cheeks was tight where the tears had dried on them. She felt so lost, so alone. Then her cell phone rang. She hesitated, holding the phone in her hand. The ring sounded so urgent, insistant, but she was afraid to answer, afraid of the news it might bring, afraid he was gone. For a few more seconds she waited, unable to hear the voice on the other end. Finally she pushed the button. “Scully,” she said. “It’s Monica,” said the voice on the other end, “Dana, where are you?” she sounded frantic. “I’m in the parking lot, but. . .” “It’s John. You have to get in here!” “But, wait!” Scully said, but it was too late. Reyes had hung up. She quickly left her car and rushed back in to the hospital. Her mind, which had been overwhelmed with thoughts, was a complete blank as she reached the waiting room. “Monica, what is it?” Reyes was looking in the window to Doggett’s room. “There you are, Dana,” she smiled at her confused friend. “they can’t explain it, but, we think he’s going to be alright.” “That’s impossible,” Scully said, “he lost too much blood, I mean. . .” Reyes gave her a very serious look. “You worked on the X-files for almost nine years Dana. You’ve seen thing I would have a hard time accepting, but. . .” he voice became quieter, her eyes gleaming, “I guess he’s still needed here.” Scully’s heart sank in her chest. She knew exactly what Reyes meant. She should have known that Reyes would pick up on that sooner or later. She probably sensed what Doggett was feeling all along as well. “They said we can go see him now, if we want to.” Reyes said. “I don’t think I’m ready.” Scully said lowering her eyes. “Please tell him I’ve got a lot to think about.” Reyes shook her head. “I’ll get in touch with him soon.” Scully said. -Five days later- Doggett paced back and forth in his living room. He knew Scully was on her way over to talk with him. He could not believe how good he was feeling considering he was on his deathbed less than a week before. Inside, however, he still felt he was dying. He imagined Scully’s reaction to his feelings would be to push him away completely. She was a good woman and would not want to hurt him, but he was afraid she was on her way to tell him goodbye, and it would hurt him much more to lose her completely. Caring for her gave his life a spark he had not felt in years. Finally, with a sigh, he sat down on the couch. That very instant the doorbell rang. He sprang up and opened the door. Scully stood there, holding William’s travel seat by its handle. She looked radiant in the morning light. “Dana, please come in.” he said. There was an awkward pause as she entered and set the carrier down. “Listen,” he said, “I’m sorry I told you. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything like that. . .” Scully still said nothing, but slowly moved towards him. To Doggett’s surprise, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and leaned her head against his chest. He was overwhelmed with emotion. He put his arms around her shoulders. He had prepared himself for the worst, but now he was even more uncertain about what would happen next. “I’m glad you’re alright, John.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Me too,” Doggett said, letting his mouth brush against her hair. “There’s something I haven’t told you,” She said, backing away to look at his face, “maybe we should have a seat.” He followed her to his couch where he sat down and turned to face her. “I know you know why Mulder left. Because I told him to, because he was in danger,” she said. “ “I remember,” he said, not sure where she was going with this. “Well,” she said, “ that’s not the whole story.” “What do you mean?” “When I told him he should leave, it was like, he didn’t believe me. He felt that something had changed in me. He said he thought it was because of you, John.” Saying these things began to upset her, and Doggett could tell. “Me?” “Yes, I guess he thought that when you and I found him dead, that we. . .” he voice trailed off, she could not utter the words. “He really said that?” “When he left he said he wanted to believe. He wanted to believe me, why he had to go, but, that was so long ago. He should be back by now.” She could no longer look at Doggett’s face. “I had no idea, I’m so sorry. . .” he began to say. “That’s just it,” She looked back at him, “that’s why I’ve been pushing you away, I didn’t want Mulder to come back and. . .” “You didn’t want to prove him right.” Doggett said, finally fully understanding her predicament. “He was my whole world, John.” She said. Finally seeing the love, and pain, in Doggett’s eyes, “but, when I thought I was going to lose you. . .” She heard William starting to cry in his travel seat. She turned from an emotionally charged Doggett to comfort her child. He watched her cradle William, humming softly with her eyes shut. “I just want you to be happy,” he said quietly, “You know how I feel about you, Dana,” she looked up at him, “but, if waiting for Muldah is what you feel you gotta do. . .” Her eyes filled with tears. Doggett did not fight his instinct. He wrapped his arms around her and her child and held them tight. He felt her body shudder as she sighed. William began to google and coo happily, wiggling in between them. “I thought I knew what I wanted, thought I knew the truth,” she looked into his eyes,”but now, I’m not so sure.” “I didn’t mean for it to be like this Dana,” “No, John, its alright.” She said, “I’m glad you told me.” He gently let her out of his strong embrace. As he watched her put her cooing baby back into the carrier, he wondered what would happen next. He expected things would remain the way they had always been. He would continue silently watching her wait for Mulder. To his surprise, after she put William down, she returned to his arms. ‘I guess I could be wrong!’ He thought. The End (Possible sequel in the works, though!)